Introduction

(Read) Most of you know that I went to a conservative Christian college, and most of us came from conservative churches. But that did not mean we all agreed on everything. We argued constantly about everything from music to modesty standards, to music, to Bible translations, to movies, to music, to facial hair (on men BTW), to hairstyles, to, you guessed it, music.

And in just about every debate someone mentioned either 1 Corinthians 8–10 or Romans 14–15. That’s because these two passages say a lot about how Christians should deal with differences. They are filled with practical help for one of the hardest parts of living in unity. What do we do when we disagree?

But you know what I learned quickly from listening to all those dorm room debates? While everyone loves Romans 14–15, most people do a terrible job of applying it. On the one hand, I listened to a lot of people use this passage as weapon against anyone who challenged their convictions. “God says, ‘Don’t judge.’ So, don’t you dare question my music. And if you do, you are just a weak legalist.”

And conservative students used this section to control anyone with lower standards. “You’re supposed to bear my weakness. You don’t want to make me stumble. So, my conservative music is the only music, and we can only read the KJV Bible.”

Of course, everyone just accepted those arguments. Of course not! It just got hotter and hotter. Why? It’s because neither side was truly loving the other. They just wanted to do what they wanted and be comfortable doing it. So, rather than understanding Paul’s point and applying it carefully, they jumped to the application they wanted.

We don’t want to do that. We want to honor the Lord, we want to love each other well, and we want to pursue God-honoring unity. But if that’s going to happen, you must understand the big picture of what’s going. You must understand the story before you can understand what God is saying to you and how to rightly apply it to your life, your relationships, and our church. So, we must begin by asking…

I.  What is at stake in Romans 14:1–15:13?

Very simply, the church was divided over questions about food (v. 2), holy days (v. 5), and drinking wine (vv. 17, 21). Notice what Paul says in 14:2. The church was divided over what is a godly diet. Then notice 14:5. Some people thought they must observe holy days, but others didn’t observe any of them. Finally notice 14:17, 21. They weren’t just divided over what was on their plates but what was in their cups.

Those arguments might sound silly, but if you want some fireworks, just ask a table of moms about their favorite diet or holiday traditions. Those arguments can get intense! Their situation is not that different from ours. But why was the Roman church divided over these things? The specific rub was…

The church was divided over Jewish scruples. A lot of people abuse this passage because they confuse this passage with 1 Corinthians 8–10. The Corinthian church divided over meat offered to idols. But the Roman conflict was over whether or not they must obey certain parts of the Law of Moses. Why do I say that?

First, 15:8–13 close the section with a call for Jew and Gentile unity. That tells us that the controversy was primarily between Jews and Gentiles.

Second, 14:14 references uncleanness. Paul uses a technical term for items that were unclean according to the law. That’s strong evidence that Jewish purity laws were at the center of the controversy.

Third, Jewish concerns about kosher food and holy days fits the text best. Obviously, the Law did not forbid eating meat, but it required that Israel only eat meat from animals that were butchered according to certain rules. Today we call this “kosher.” This was a challenge for Jews living outside Palestine because Gentile butchers didn’t follow kosher laws. Therefore, if a Jewish butcher was not available, they would stick to a vegetable diet.

That tradition goes back to Daniel. When he was taken to Babylon, “Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice food or with the wine which he drank” (Dan 1:8). Instead, he only ate vegetables and drank water. It’s pretty clear that some of the Jewish Christians were doing the same.

However, the Gentile believers and some Jews like Paul understood that Christ has freed us from these laws. So, imagine the church potlucks. Joe-Gentile shows up with a tasty pan of smoked pork. The Gentiles are chowing down while the Jews are quietly eating their broccoli.

You can cut the tension with the knife. The Jews are furious that Joe-Gentile is so inconsiderate, and Joe-Gentile is annoyed that the Jews are so judgmental. Then little Johnny Jew gets a whiff of the smoked pork, and he looks down at his broccoli and carrots. He starts throwing a fit that he can’t have a pork sandwich. His mom, Judy Jew has had enough. She storms over to Joe-Gentile and gives him a piece of her mind.

It’s a mess. A time of fellowship and unity has become a war. It’s hard on multiple fronts. And we can all relate because we’ve been in those kinds of arguments. And adding to the complexity is the fact that…

The strong were right, and the weak were wrong (14:14). This is an important part of the story that my college friends completely missed. My less conservative friends thought Christian liberty means that God doesn’t care and that he’s left a massive amount of gray area for us to do whatever we prefer. But God has no gray area. He always knows what is best, and here he is very clear about who was right and who was wrong (read).

The strong were right. God has freed us from the Law. We don’t need to obey purity laws or observe OT holy days. That’s really important to remember as try to understand and apply this section. Despite that, notice…

The gospel was not threatened. Even though the weak were wrong, v. 3 says “God has accepted him.” They were truly saved. They were not relying on these laws to earn salvation.

And while the weak were wrong, they were not disobedient. They were just doing more than they had to. No one is questioning the gospel, and no one is rebelling against God’s authority. So, Paul is far more patient with them than he is with false teachers or rebels against God’s will.

All of that is important for applying this section well. In particular, Paul’s point is not to tell us what movies or music are permissible. He certainly doesn’t open wide the gates to do whatever I feel like doing. So, don’t use this section to determine your convictions. That’s not Paul’s point, and I guarantee that you will miss the mark if you use it that way.

Rather, God teaches Christians how to pursue unity when we have different but biblically permissible convictions. That’s vital to your life as a Christian. I hope that you want to love your brothers and sisters well and enjoy deep unity so that we can show Christ to the world.

That said, let’s jump into the first 4 verses because Paul gets right to the point. Verses 1–4, and really the entire section challenge us, love well, and leave the rest to God. Notice first in vv. 1–3…

II.  Love with perspective (vv. 1–3a).

I see 4 practical challenges in that charge. First…

Embrace your brothers and sisters (v. 1a). Paul is addressing the strong. They were in the majority, they were right, and Paul includes himself among them. So, you can imagine how annoyed they could be with the weak. I’m sure it was tempting to put them in their place or just run over them and do what they wanted.

You know the feeling. You want to do something fun with your friends. It’s going to be great, except you must keep it a secret from one good friend who can’t participate in good conscience. What do you do? Do you leave your friend in the cold? “She’s being a prude anyway, and it’s going to be so fun.” Or do you love sacrificially?

God says, “Accept the one who is weak in faith.” He says it again in 15:7. Consider how Jesus accepts you. He is patient with your ignorance, and he endures all your quirks. And God commands you to accept every brother and sister in Christ the same way.

You say, “But Pastor, he’s wrong, and I’m right. He’s being so stubborn and obnoxious.” But aren’t you thankful that God is not so harsh with you?

Paul doesn’t pretend like the weak have it all together. They are “weak in faith.” They were struggling to truly rest in the freedom Christ had provided. But God still commanded the strong to accept them.

What about you? Are you quick to get frustrated, and quick to write people off? Do you patiently endure and love, or do quickly close yourself off? This is important not just when we have differing convictions but with most other conflicts. Be patient. Think the best. Be quick to accept and slow to dismiss, not vice versa. The 2^nd challenge is…

Embrace them without qualification (v. 1b). The qualifier at the end of v. 1 would be funny if it were not all too common (v. 1). Paul expected some of the strong to say, “Sure, I’ll have those prudes over for dinner, and we’re going to talk. I’m going to change their minds about this silly standard.”

But not the point. Frankly, it’s not truly loving them or accepting them. It’s putting an unnecessary qualification on your love and acceptance.

Now, I must be clear that Paul does not forbid us from ever pushing people to have better convictions. And you shouldn’t think that anyone who challenges you is a legalist. No, Paul pushes people all the time because often that’s the best way to love.

But let’s be honest. Most of the time we push people to lower their standards, it’s more about my comfort than it is about their good. You’re tired of deferring and of the discomfort of disagreement. It’s about you, not them.

So, God says that if someone has a biblically permissible standard, your general stance shouldn’t be to fix it but to accept them without qualification.

For example, many Christians are Sabbatarians. They believe Sunday is the new Sabbath, and we shouldn’t do any work we could do another day. They don’t go out to eat, go shopping, clean the house, or drive long distances on Sunday. I disagree, but those standards don’t hurt anything.

So, I should just accept and support their standard. I shouldn’t invite them to Red Robin and then lecture them when they decline. I certainly must not let it affect our friendship. Just give thanks that they are earnestly striving to honor the Lord and love them without qualification. 3^rd…

Embrace with proper perspective (v. 2). I don’t want us to gloss over the word “faith” or the fact that v. 1 calls the weak, “weak in faith.” Paul is very clear that the weak were in some sense deficient in their ability to rest in the fact that Christ has fully freed us from the law. That’s not a completely irrelevant issue and there was a time be address it.

But it wasn’t the most important issue. Verse 2 implies that it’s not a big deal if someone only eats vegetables. He’s not hurting anyone, so leave him alone, and keep perspective on what matters. Loving that person, maintaining unity, and working together for the gospel matter far more than getting him to stop by the Gentile butcher.

But as obvious as that is, we have a hard time keeping perspective. I remember in 2020 coming into a service with a mask on because I wanted to love people well and make them comfortable. But a church member (who is no longer here) felt it necessary to lecture me on why I should take it off. We’re here to worship God. I wasn’t hurting him. Let it go.

We do the same with so many arguments. We get irritated about some little thing. That irritation becomes far bigger to us than loving a brother. It’s so silly and so childish.

Notice the perspective Paul gives in v. 15. Jesus died for this person. He matters so much more than your little irritation. Love people and get over it.

Embrace without harshness (v. 3a). To “regard with contempt” is to despise, to have a condescending, arrogant attitude toward another. Paul forbids that attitude. Just because you are right does not mean you are better. In fact, I’m guessing that some of the Jewish believers were actually more spiritually mature than the strong. They were just weak in this one area.

But again, we lose perspective. We start to value issues over people, and we use issues to prop ourselves up as better than those ignorant, faithless people over there. God says that a condescending attitude is wicked. Yes, you should have strong convictions, and your convictions might be superior to other people’s. But there’s no room for pride at the foot of the cross, only for humility and love.

So, love with proper, godly perspective. People matter for more than almost everything that divides us. Embrace the humility and love of Jesus. Keep perspective. Yes, you must fight some battles and confront some issues. But slow down and think about first. And for the most part, accept one another (v. 19). Then notice that Paul follows with an admonition for the weak. My 2^nd major challenge is…

III.  Leave judgment to the Lord (vv. 3b–4).

Remember that Paul is addressing those “who do not eat,” so he’s talking to the members who were still following several unnecessary OT laws. He challenges them…

Do not judge (v. 3b). For a lot of people, this command is their favorite part of the whole chapter, and they love to throw it around to anyone who would ever pushback on their standards or convictions. “God says, ‘Don’t judge,’ so anyone who challenges me is a judgmental legalist.”

But we know that Paul is not forbidding any and all judgment. The Bible repeatedly challenges us to discern right from wrong. That’s judgment. And 1 Corinthians 5:12, says that the church is responsible to judge the people who are in the church, meaning that we hold each other accountable and call out sin. That kind of judgment is part of how we love and serve each other.

Rather, Paul is condemning a particular kind of judgment that arises from a sinful heart. It’s based in self-righteous elitism. As Christians, we declare that “We are what we are by the grace of God.” But self-righteous elitism boasts in itself.

You can imagine how the Jews at Rome would begin to do this. It wasn’t just that they believed unkosher foods were sinful; they used that standard to set themselves above the Gentiles. “Look at those dirty Gentiles eating their dirty food.” We are so much better than they are.”

And this led to a cynical judgmentalism. Rather, than assuming that the Gentiles were striving to please the Lord, they made harsh assumptions about their motives. “They’re just doing that because they are worldly, and they don’t care about holiness.” We do that all the time. When someone has a lower standard than us, we just assume that it springs from ungodly passions. We harshly accuse them of evil motives in order to make ourselves feel and look better.

But the problem, at least for the Romans, is that they were wrong. Verse 3 concludes, “God has accepted him.” There was nothing wrong with eating unkosher food after Jesus freed us from the Law.

So, you must be very careful about cynical judgmentalism. When you are hurt, it is so easy to jump to harsh conclusions about people’s character and motives. You accuse people of ungodliness, worldliness, lust, and pride. I know because I’ve been guilty many times, and I’ve listened to plenty of people do the same.

But I’ve been dead wrong many times, and so have you. And Christian love always assumes the best, not the worst. So, when your anger begins to build over any issue and you begin to accuse a brother of all sorts of ungodliness, slow down. Check your heart, pursue love, and be humble. I’ve heard a lot of people start an accusation by telling me how discerning they are and how much they understand people, and usually they follow by spewing nonsense. Why? Because pride and selfishness will cloud any judgment.

Christian do not be a self-righteous elitist, and resist the urge to cynical judgmentalism. Love people. Be humble. Assume the best. But you may reply, “But Pastor, I know I’m right. He’s wrong, and I must correct him. I must fix this.” When these fears and anxieties begin to grow remember Paul’s final challenge.

Trust the Lord (v. 4). This is a fascinating verse, and Paul develops the thought more completely in vv. 5–12, so I’ll say a lot more about it next week. But for today, Paul says bluntly, “God is that person’s judge not you. He is sovereign over his children, not you. God will preserve his people in a way that you never can. So, stop trying to be God for people. Trust the Lord, and let God be God.

Yes, we must put some important qualifiers on this. God commands us to confront sin, and God often uses his church to reveal blind spots and correct sin. Paul rebuked Peter strongly in front of a whole church one time. So, God is not saying that we never judge, and we never correct.

But he is warning you to be careful about trying to be God. God is your brother’s ultimate judge, not you. And God is the one who ultimately sanctifies, not you.

I love the assurances in vv. 3–4. “God has accepted him.” “He will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” Some of you have adult, Christian children, and you stew all the time about their decisions. You jab them about this thing and that. Maybe you are hypercritical of the church or certain people in the church. If only they were more like you. Or you think it’s your job to fix everything about them.

Again there are times to correct, but there are other times when we just pray and wait for God to do what he said he will do. God loves his church more than you do. He loves your child more than you do. You need to trust God, and you need to stop playing God. I’m really looking forward to developing that idea next week.

Conclusion

 For now, the challenge of our text is quite simple, love well and leave the rest to God. That won’t solve every conflict, but it will narrow the field significantly. Stop worrying about your comfort and focus on loving people and serving people the way Christ loved and served you. And stop trying to be God. Humble yourself before him, and trust Lord to do in his people everything he has promised.