Introduction

Several years ago I had the privilege of teaching a block course on the Caribbean island of St. Vincent. It was an incredible experience. I really enjoyed my students, and the school was in one of the most beautiful spots I have ever been. It was along the beach, they had their own beautiful little cove, and the water was crystal clear.

On the other hand, I felt completely out of place. The roads had tons of switchbacks, and the drivers would fly around blind corners solely trusting the mirrors they had mounted at the turns. I’d never seen anything like it. And the people were very poor. It was a whole new experience to see the way the college students lived, to experience their housing, and to eat their food. And their national history was built on the slave trade and terrible brutality. So, you could feel the animosity toward white people when you were out and about.

I had a great time. I enjoyed my students and the church. But I felt very out of place. I was in a different world, surrounded by people with a different worldview, different customs, and a very different way of life.

Similarly, Christians often feel out of place even in our own communities. Last Saturday, I sat with a couple dads at Isaac’s Little League party. We had good conversation, but as they talked about driving 110 mph through LA, partying, and other things, it was obvious that these guys live in a very different world from mine.

There are many reasons we feel out of place, but today’s passage highlights 3 radically different assumptions about how Christians should treat people. When you grasp what God commands, it’s shocking even to us (read). God calls you to embrace an other-worldly grace and humility. In fact, it is so other-worldly, that you may think it is impossible. It is apart from the grace of God. But by God’s grace, you can imitate this unique, divine ethic. My central challenge today is, treat everyone with other-worldly grace and humility. Paul gets there with 3 practical commands. The first is…

I.  Bless your enemies (v. 14).

This verse is based on Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 5:43–48. That’s an incredible, other-worldly command, especially when you consider that both Jesus and Paul knew very well what harsh persecution is. People were out to kill Jesus almost immediately. He faced harsh critics everywhere. And by the time Paul wrote Romans, he had endured cruel hatred, he had escaped several murderous schemes, he’d been beaten, imprisoned, and faced several violent mobs. So, they understand what they are demanding.

Remember that when you are tempted to think someone is too harsh for you to obey God’s command. Both Jesus and Paul died as martyrs, but they still command you, to bless your persecutors and forbid you to curse them. That’s radical. Why would God expect that from us. Notice that Jesus offers two reasons for his command.

First, God is generous to his enemies (Matt 6:45). Notice that God gives every blessing we enjoy. We generally assume the rising sun and weather patterns are merely natural processes. But Jesus saw the world differently. He saw everything as God’s direct work.

So, when the sun rises over an evil, rebellious city, Jesus says that’s God graciously causing his sun to rise over them. It’s the same with the rain. Every drop of rain that falls on a wicked farmer’s field is a grace of God. God is also angry with the wicked every day. His wrath stands over them like a bursting dam. Yet he is generous to the evilest men every day.

I’ve heard many Christians say, “I can’t,” or, “You don’t understand what he did to me” or, “I have a right to be angry.” But every day God is generous to the objects of his eternal anger. And he demands that you imitate his generosity. So, stop making excuses and obey the Lord. The second reason Jesus gives is…

You belong to your Heavenly Father (vv. 46–48). Jesus is blunt. Your favorite politician, T. V. personality, or commentator does not set the standard for your behavior. You aren’t free to sink to your persecutor’s level or to respond the way most people would. The only standard that matters is what Jesus did and what he demands—other-worldly, grace-empowered love.

So, raise the bar. It’s hard to let go of deep hurt and real cruelty. But by God’s grace, you can. Stop making excuses about why you have a right to be bitter, to withhold forgiveness, or to act like a jerk. Choose grace. Specifically, our text commands you…

Do not curse. As soon as I began studying this verse, I wondered how to reconcile it with inspired prayers like David prayed for his enemies, “Let his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.Let his children wander about and beg; and let them seek sustenance far from their ruined homes…Let there be none to extend lovingkindness to him, nor any to be gracious to his fatherless children.Let his posterity be cut off; in a following generation let their name be blotted out” (Ps 109:9–13).

That’s shocking, isn’t it? Was David wrong? Is the God of the OT harsh, and the God of the NT kind? Should we offer a similar prayer against Hamas or people who push abortion for their own profit? What about a cruel coworker? Or is Paul commanding us to reject David’s prayer?

First and foremost, God has not and will never change. Instead, both Jesus’ and Paul’s commands are deeply rooted in the OT ethic. “If you meet your enemy’s ox or his donkey going astray, you shall surely bring it back to him again. If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying under its burden, and you would refrain from helping it, you shall surely help him with it” (Ex 23:4–5). “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink” (Prov 25:21). God has not changed. So, Romans 12:14 cannot contradict Psalm 109.

Rather, God is both just and gracious, Psalm 109 and Romans 12:14 are calling us to also be lovers of justice and grace. So, Psalm 109 is a prayer for justice against someone who opposed God’s will.

And rebellion should also anger you. Pray that God would bring justice and eradicate evil. Pray that God would judge Hamas and every other genocidal leader. Pray that God would judge politicians who profit off a violent agenda.

But Romans 12:14 also forbids cursing based on bitterness, resentment, fear, and anxiety. For example, election season is already heating up and so is the political rhetoric. Most of it has little to do justice. It’s bitter rage based on godless fear and lust for power. Stay above it.

And that rage dominates how unbelievers treat each other. If someone hurts you, get angry, get bitter, and demand your pound of flesh. But God commands you to live and think differently. Do not to get swept up in that sort of rage. Drive bitterness, malice, and anxiety out of your heart. Do not curse out of vengeful fear or anger.

Instead, bless your enemies. Jesus set the ultimate example. Consider all the hatred, slander, and violence he endured on the way to the cross. But he still prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). And Paul says about his own capitol trial, “At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them” (2 Tim 4:16).

You must show the same grace. I understand that it hurts when people attack you, talk behind your back, or seek your harm. Some of you suffered for years at the hands of an abusive spouse or abusive parents. It’s horrible.

But bitterness and malice are always sinful, and they never satisfy. So, determine to imitate his grace. I understand that you may not feel like it. But make a choice. Choose Christlike forgiveness. Then seek that person’s good. God commands you to pray for God’s blessing on those who persecute you. Pray for their salvation. Pray for their well-being. Speak the kind word that is so hard to get out. Drive over to his house and do something kind.

You may say, “Pastor, I can’t do that.” You’re right. You can’t in your own strength. But you are a new creature in Christ. God always gives grace to do what he demands. So, run to him. Ask for help. Meditate on God’s love. And don’t forget to lean on the church. Pastor Tim or I or many others in our church would love to help you through that process. So, the 1^st practical command of our text is to bless your enemies. The 2^nd practical command is…

II.  Share in people’s lives (v. 15).

God once again calls you to an other-worldly grace and humility. It builds off several of the challenges we studied last week. God commands you to love unhypocritically (v. 9), and to, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (v. 10). So that you do not merely to put on a show of generosity but “share in the needs of the saints” (v. 13).

That’s other-worldly love. Without it, you’ll never obey v. 15 because God is calling you to love your brothers and sisters in Christ so deeply that their joys and sorrows become yours. You truly share them. Again, that’s not natural, but it is very possible through the grace of God. First, God commands you to…

Rejoice together (v. 15a). At first blush, this challenge may sound easy. Who doesn’t love to rejoice with others? But there are two big threats.

Self-Absorption: Many Christians have crammed their lives and their hearts so full of stuff that they don’t have any room to obey this verse. They don’t notice people’s joys or have the capacity to care. Do you know what’s happening in people’s lives? Do you ask thoughtful questions? Or are you so consumed with yourself that you don’t truly care? Another danger is…

Envy: We sometimes say, “Who doesn’t love a wedding?” The answer is someone who desperately wants to get married. This command hit home for Heidi and me when we struggled with infertility. We wanted a child so badly, and it seemed like every Sunday someone would announce they were expecting. Our natural response was envy, not rejoicing.

And envy is such a dark, selfish sin. For example, let’s suppose a friend shows up at church next week excited about his new car. But your first thought is to gripe about your own car. It’s so self-centered. But we do that often. Then we blame people for being happy about God’s gifts. So, how can we intentionally choose rejoicing instead of self-absorption and envy?

Choose to love. Sometimes, it almost hurts to rejoice with someone. But make the choice anyway. Hold your friend’s baby that you want for yourself. Enjoy the wedding you wish was yours. Say, “I’m happy for you,” even if you don’t feel it. It’s not hypocritical to choose what you know is right even though you don’t feel it because you want to please God and love well. And as you consistently make these choices, God will grow your love.

This is so vital to our body life. It means so much to you when people share your greatest joys. It makes you love them and trust them. So, do that for others. Choose love and push yourself to big love for those who rejoice.

Give yourself space. Specifically, don’t cram your life with so much stuff that you don’t have time to love well. Or just make time for what matters.

Ladies, make it your aim to never miss a shower. It doesn’t matter if you know the lady or not. She’s a sister in Christ, and you have a great opportunity to rejoice with her during one of the biggest moments in her life. Take advantage. Go to birthday parties. Get excited at baptisms. Notice people’s children. These things are so simple, but they won’t happen unless you prioritize them in your schedule and intentionally give people attention. Be alert and take advantage of great opportunities to show love.

Of course, bathe ever step in grace. As basic as this may seem, it demands other-worldly love that comes only from God. Praise God that he can form that love in you, and praise God that we can live in a community of that love. Ask God to grow this love in you. Rejoice with those who rejoice. Then obey the next command to…

Weep together (v. 15b). Once again, God demands more than a passing thought of sadness or a token expression of grief. Rather, God is commanding you to enter people’s sorrows and help share the load. Once again, we often think that we don’t have the space or the capacity to do this well. Americans are obsessed with looking good and feeling good. Therefore, we have little room for grief, and we do everything we can to avoid it.

But many people around you can’t avoid it. The holidays feel very different without a loved one, or they live with crisis every day. Some are suffering alone because the rest of us are too busy or too self-absorbed to help.

God says to weep with those who weep. Notice that God doesn’t tell you to fix everyone’s grief. Because we dislike sorrow, our first impulse is to fix it. We want to say the perfect thing to make it go away. We try to crack a joke. Or the worst is when we downplay someone’s grief or argue they should be happy that they don’t have it as bad as you.

Job’s friends didn’t get much right, but they got it right in Job 2:13, “They sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” Yes, at some point we must address bad theology and sinful responses but start by entering the person’s sorrow and sympathizing with it.

In sum, v. 15 is not complicated, but it is unusual. But Christians should not be normal. We must love the way God loves us. We must be a family that truly shares life together. So, love the body with other-worldly grace and humility. The 3^rd practical command is…

III.  Walk humbly with all people (v. 16).

This is another challenge that is so basic, and yet so unnatural and so unusual. Just think of how much bickering and division would go poof if people simply obeyed this verse. But they don’t because pride and self are deeply ingrained in sinners. We need this verse, and by God’s grace, we can obey it. I’d like to start at the end of the verse and work forward. First…

Think rightly about yourself (v. 16c). Obviously, it’s good to seek biblical wisdom. But God says it is not good to lift up yourself as the standard of wisdom and to boast based on your own standard.

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that Paul wrote Romans from Corinth, and I have to think that Paul’s experiences at Corinth inspired his exhortations about pride and exclusivity. Some of the Corinthians were enthralled with mystical wisdom which was no wisdom at all. Instead of being amazed at God, they were amazed at themselves. They were so delusional that they even believed they understood God and church ministry better than Paul.

It’s ridiculous but it’s not unusual. God has given many of you sharp minds and good training, You should have strong convictions, and God can use your gifts and convictions to make you a strong leader and a gift to the church. But make sure you wrap strength in meekness.

I think often of Moses. He was a gifted, brilliant man with a long list of credentials. But Numbers 12:3 gives an incredible evaluation, “Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.” Be like Moses. Be more amazed at God and less amazed at yourself. Use your gifts to serve people. Don’t use people to glorify your gifts. Pursue the humility of Jesus. As you do this, you’ll be ready to obey the next challenge.

Pursue all people (v. 16b). Once again, this challenge smells like something Paul said to the Corinthians. Some were so proud that they excluded the poor and the weak from their company even when they should have been celebrating the church’s unity through observing communion.

We know better than to do something so blatantly divisive, but we have our ways of looking spiritual while keeping people at arm’s length. Or maybe you don’t actively push anyone away; you just don’t make any effort to go after certain people because you don’t have any compelling interest in their lives.

But Jesus said, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment.But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (Luke 14:12–14).

Jesus’ point is not that you shouldn’t have friends or invest in them. But don’t pat yourself on the back for loving people who are easy to love. Rather, Jesus is calling you to practice genuine, sacrificial love.

There is someone in this room who is outside your comfort zone. They don’t appeal to your natural interests. That’s precisely who Jesus commands you to pursue. Pick out a handful of those people. Find them after church. Ask how you can pray. Invite them over for dinner this week. You’ll be blessed more than you expect, and Jesus will repay you at the resurrection. So, obey God. “Associate with the lowly.” As we all obey this command, we will...

Live in harmony (v. 16a). Paul is not commanding us to all think the same thing about everything. We know that because chapter 14 will say that it’s okay for Christians to hold different convictions. Rather, considering the rest of the verse, God is commanding us all to share the same selfless, sacrificial love which drives us to pursue each other’s good over our own.

Again, that is so basic, but it is so hard for sinners to consistently practice. You’ve felt it in your marriage. You and your spouse get stuck in a silly turf war. And for several hours, several days, or maybe several weeks, you’re at odds because neither of you will to budge over the silliest thing. You can see the stupidity of that sort of thing so clearly in your kids, but you do it too. Stop it. Love sacrificially.

And make sure that you walk into this building every Sunday with the same spirit. How thick is your skin? If you are easily offended or hurt, you are selfish. You aren’t thinking like a servant. Choose love and choose harmony. Refuse to get stuck in petty conflicts because “love covers a multitude of sins.”

Maybe you are critical of everyone and everything. You gripe about the song selections. You gripe about the sermon. You gripe about this program and that. But if the whole world stinks, you’re probably the one who stinks. You need to love graciously and think like a servant.

The idea of musical harmony is so helpful because singing in unison is always easier, especially if you are not musically inclined. In the same way, it’s easier to live with people who think exactly like you. Similarly, harmony is harder, but it creates a far richer sound. Don’t be lazy and chase what is easy. Love sacrificially. Embrace the joy the sharpening effect, and the God-glorifying power of harmony.

Conclusion

It is a wonderful blessing that you can enjoy that kind of harmony in the church. You don’t have to bicker and fight. You don’t have to walk on eggshells. You are with family, and you are loved. And you have endless opportunities to love the way Jesus loved you. I am so thankful that while we have our hiccups, God has given us that spirit. But don’t ever take it for granted. It is a unique blessing of God’s grace. And it takes constant maintenance. So check your heart. Walk in the grace of God. And by his grace, treat everyone with other-worldly grace and humility.