Introduction

This morning, I’m going to do something unusual. I’m going to preach a topical sermon on Sunday morning. Our topic is “Building a Culture of Intergenerational Discipleship.” Some of you have heard this before. I covered this in Sunday School shortly after I got here and again in a breakout session at the Ironwood Men’s Retreat 3 years ago. But I am passionate about this subject because I believe in the impact it can make. Intergenerational discipleship has made a massive impact on me.

I didn’t appreciate that until I became a youth pastor. I grew up in a small church of 30-50 people. We didn’t have AWANA or a big youth group. I had to talk with the adults because I didn’t have many options, and some of those adults made a huge impact on my life.

Now, I was a youth pastor in a church of 700 people with a Christian school. Most of our teens spent 6 days/week together, and they hardly interacted with most of the church. They just huddled together. They weren’t alone. The larger a church gets, the more it naturally segregates. As it does, it loses one of its greatest powers for influence. So, I want to challenge us to push back against that drift.

With AWANA and youth group starting this week, it is a good time think about this issue, our broader vision for discipleship, and how children and teen ministries fit within it. It’s important that our workers and our parents know what we are trying to do, and how we want to get there.

But how we disciple is crucial to every ministry and every age group. Afterall, the Great Commission, Jesus’ last word before he ascended to heaven, gives only one command, “Make disciples.” And discipleship is essential to our future. It’s been said, “The church is always one generation from extinction.” If we don’t reproduce ourselves, the church will die. The need is great. So, how can we effectively disciple? There are several important factors, but today, I especially want to focus on the importance of intergenerational impact. Let’s begin by grounding this in Scripture.

I.  Our Responsibilities

We must disciple the next generation (2 Tim 2:2). This verse is particularly concerned with pastors discipling future pastors, but the underlying principle applies to all believers. Notice that Paul mentions 4 generations of disciples—Paul, Timothy, those Timothy will disciple, and their disciples. It’s a vital chain. God is saying that we must do better than keeping the next generation in line; we must help them embrace the faith to the extent that they are as committed to discipling the next generation as we are and are equipped to do so. Hopefully, they surpass us.

Again, “The church is always one generation from extinction.” Humanly speaking, the perpetuation of the church depends on the salvation of the next generation and on entrusting them with biblical convictions and the skills the reach the next generation. Discipleship is our mission. But if your first response is to hope others get on that or to criticize what they are doing, then you need to consider our 2^nd

We must all engage in the process (Eph 4:11–16). Notice the 3-step process Paul envisions. First, v. 11 says that God gives the church gifted leaders, in particular pastor/teachers. But it is not our job to disciple everyone or to do all the ministry.

Rather, the 2^nd step is that gifted leaders “equip the saints for the work of service.” So, pastors don’t do all the ministry; instead, we equip and engage an army of ministers. As we do that, vv. 12b–16 describe the 3^rd step which is that the church matures into strong and effective health.

If you want to know what a healthy church is, Paul tells you right here. It has strong convictions, the people are stable, they lovingly invest in each other, and they support each other. It’s a beautiful picture.

So, how do we get there? Through an army of Spirit-filled disciple makers who are passing along what they have received. Spirit-filled believers are our power. Yes, I’m thankful for good programs. We must be organized, and we need structures. But programs do not make disciples; godly, Spirit-filled Christians make disciples. Your convictions, your love, and your biblical instruction is what transforms lives.

So, if you work in a children or teen ministry, don’t ever see yourself as a babysitter or a cog in a machine. You are the engine, not the program. You are the one God uses to get us to vv. 13–16.

And again, every member of our church is responsible for this process. 1 Corinthians 12:7 says, “But to each one (meaning every Christian) is given the manifestation of the Spirit (a spiritual gift) for the common good (the edification of the church). God gave you a stewardship. If you are not using it to edify the body, when you have the ability to do so, you are disobeying God and failing us. Edification, discipleship is your responsibility.

We must build a culture of intergenerational discipleship (Titus 2:1–5). When we first visited Life Point, I looked for gray hair because a lot of young churches only have young people. It’s exciting, but it’s unstable and immature. Older saints are essential to a church’s health, and younger saints are essential to its future. A healthy church will have a healthy mix of both.

Paul assumes that, when he says that older men must set a pattern for younger men. And older women must actively mentor younger women. Paul clearly envisions a healthy mixture where the generations live among each other and where godliness and practical wisdom are filtering down.

Ollila says that every believer should aspire to have a Barnabas (i.e., a peer), a Paul (i.e., a mentor), and a Timothy (i.e., a project). That’s so important because we all naturally gravitate to people like us. Take a look at the conversation circles after church. Most of them tend to be with peers.

We need peers. It’s great to have a friend who is enduring the same struggles you are because you can relate to each other and support each other. But you need more than that. You need a Paul in your life who is pushing you to greater maturity. And you need a Timothy, a project, whom you are trying to disciple. Every Christian must pass along the stewardship you receive.

So, the church is to be a place where children and teens are constantly learning from mature believers and where young adults are constantly learning from those who are older. The church is to be a place of intergenerational discipleship.

And I strongly believe that children and teen ministries can be a great avenue for encouraging intergenerational discipleship if we keep the right focus. Parents, when you drop off your kids for a program don’t think that you are putting them in a kids’ group; instead, think of yourself as partnering with the mature leaders in that program. That’s a great gift.

You might be an awesome parent, but children can never have too many good examples. For example, Carol Graves made a dramatic impact on my life. He was a farmer who practically started the church I grew up in. He was all in on everything.

Every week, he picked me and our lawn mower up, and we mowed the church. I felt his passion and commitment to our church. He made ministry fun, he loved me, and he invested in me. He never formally discipled me, but he showed me how a mature believer ministers in the church. God used him to help me love the church, love ministry, and make it a priority.

I could mention many other examples. I got to rub shoulders with many godly adults as a child and teen who reinforced and complemented what I was learning at home. I saw their commitment to Christ, work ethic, etc., and I experienced their love and care. It had a profound impact.

Parents, don’t be so insecure as to think that no one else might be able to add something to your parenting. Embrace that and give thanks. I rejoice when you all invest in my kids. I want more of it, not less.

I hope that all of you agree that intergenerational discipleship, is a good and biblical goal. So, why aren’t we better about it? It’s helpful to identify roadblocks so we can overcome them.

II.  Our Roadblocks

We are too busy with temporal cares. This week, I listened to a podcast by 3 pastors who are just a few years older than me and still very busy with parenting. One of them said that our generation is much more involved in our children’s lives than previous generations.

He didn’t say it as necessarily a bad or a good thing. But he observed that parents today face so much pressure to do everything to give their children as many incredible experiences and chances as possible.

Of course, being highly invested in your children is a good thing. But is your family so busy with stuff that there’s no time or energy for spiritual investment? And are you always so tired and distracted that even when you are with the church, there’s no drive for meaningful investment? Heidi and I like to be busy, and our family keeps a busy schedule. The right busy is very good. But make sure that it is intentional and that you maintain the right priorities. Keep your life simple enough for robust investment in the GC.

Intergenerational relationships can be awkward and frustrating. If we have an option, most people naturally gravitate toward people who are like them. There are big differences among generations and life stages. It’s easier to make conversation with people in your generation.

Older people can easily be annoyed by small children, all the noise, and all the busyness because they don’t live with it everyday. And it can be intimidating for parents to have their children around seniors. I could go on, but you get the point. Intergenerational relationships are challenging, but they are worth the effort.

As churches grow, they segregate. In fact, many churches use segregation as a growth strategy. They quickly push you into a small group of people just like you. They’ve resigned themselves to the idea that intergenerational relationships are just too hard to make them a priority.

Even without that push, the more a church grows the more it naturally segregates. I saw that so clearly transitioning from a church of 40 to a church of 700. If you’ve been at Life Point since the beginning, you’ve probably experienced it here to some extent. It just naturally happens. As well…

As churches grow, people lose ownership and ministry becomes mechanical/programmatic. In our little church, if we had a potluck, everyone felt obligated to clean up because it was obvious that no one else was going to do it. But Inter-City had lots of paid staff, so people naturally stand there and watch them work. They become consumers, not owners.

The same thing happens with ministry. You must be more organized as you grow; otherwise, it’s a mess, people are tripping over each other, and others slip through the cracks. So, organization and programs serve a valuable role.

But they also make people mechanical. They stop thinking outside the program and taking personal initiative. They become like a mule that has walked in circles turning a grinding stone for years. Even if you free them, they can’t see to do anything but walk in circles.

It’s tragic because people become blind to great ministry opportunities and great blessings. Please don’t become mechanical and programmatic in your ministry vision. One of Life Point’s traditional strengths has been people taking initiative with people. For example, we have greeters, but they aren’t the only ones greeting. We all do it. We have lots of disciple makers who identify needs and attack them on their own. That’s great. That’s special. Most churches don’t have that. We must fight to keep it.

As churches grow, people slip through the cracks. If you miss a Sunday in a small church, everyone notices, and 3 people will call you because church felt different without you. But you can leave a church of 1,000, and hardly anyone will notice you are gone for months.

We notice because we’ve set up a simple structure of taking attendance every Monday afternoon. We have deacon care groups to tighten up the cracks a little more and to provide other help. Those structures help, but they will never be fool proof. They certainly can’t replace church members who are committed to meaningful relationships and meaningful discipleship and who take initiative.

If you are a more mature saint, do you ever look around the room or think about who’s not in the room or who is hanging out on the fringes, or who looks like they have 1,000 lbs. on their back? You don’t need to be a deacon or on a ministry title to pursue them. Go after them. If we are going to error, let’s error on the side of overwhelming love, not neglect.

In sum, intergenerational discipleship faces roadblocks, but none of them are insurmountable if we have the vision to fight them. So, where do we go from here?

III.  Your Challenge

Take ownership of your soul and our culture. I imagine that at least a few of you have been sitting there griping in your heart. “I need help, but nobody notices me.” Or, “I have so much to offer, but these punk kids never ask me for counsel.” Or maybe, “The pastors need to fix this, or I’m out of here.”

If you like what you are hearing but you want some direction, I’d love to talk with you. But take ownership for your soul, your ministry, and our culture. If you have needs, pursue people who can help because they will probably be happy to do so. If you want to make an impact, don’t wait for people to ask, pursue them. Effective disciple makers don’t wait for ministry to come; they go find it. And if you are discontent with the culture of our church, be part of the solution. Let’s talk about your burden and how we can fulfill it. You can probably make more of an impact than you realize. Getting more specific…

Pursue intergenerational relationships. I want to challenge all of you to go home this week and memorize the directory. Many of you still need to join the directory and post your picture. You might think I’m crazy but think about how many people you have avoided because you aren’t sure who they are. We do it all the time. So, fix it!

As well, our children and teens are probably the hardest ones for you to keep straight, but they are also our greatest stewardship. You need to get to know them and invest in them. Learning their names is a good place to start.

As well, consciously resist your comfort zone. Make a choice to sit in a different spot, to talk to different people, and to stand somewhere new after the service. Find people from a different generation. Put yourself in the way of a Paul and a Timothy. Some of you are introverts, and you don’t think you can do that. I understand. If I wasn’t a Christian, I’d never talk to anyone. You can talk to people, and God can change you if you will push yourself.

Another simple thing you can do is serve in a ministry. Ministry is a great way to get to know people. You meet the people you serve alongside and the people you serve. We have lots of needs if you are willing to be flexible. Talk to us about a place you can serve.

Come early, come often, and stay late. Sunday morning worship is an important expression of our fellowship, but it is not an ideal context for building relationships. The building is full, a lot is going on, and everyone is mostly on their best behavior. If you want to impact others and have them impact you, then make it a priority to come to other events and actively seek people out.

I always say that the best way to get to know Life Point is to come Sunday night because most of our core people are here. Come to picnics and activities. You get to know people playing kickball like you will never get to know them on Sunday morning.

Growing up in a small church, workdays were a big part of our life together. I spent an abundance of time around godly men mowing grass, tearing off rooms, etc. I felt their love, and I saw their commitment to the church. Come, not just to help us get stuff done but to meet people and to rub shoulders with the generations.

Steward your relationships for impact. Small talk is not wrong, and it has its place. Asking people about their lives and the things that interest them can be a great way to show love. But don’t forget that we have bigger business on Sundays than the weather, sports, school, and hobbies. Steward your relationships and your time for spiritual impact. Here’s a few ideas.

Spend time with children. It means so much to a child when you are interested in them. They can’t get too much godly love. And that love can turn into so much more. Don’t see kids as an irritation; see them as a mission field.

Use your ministry to train ministers. It’s been said that one of the goals of ministry is to work yourself out of a job. It may slow you down, but training another minister is almost always worth the delay. Have a vision for training workers. You won’t just multiply ministers; you will create lots of mutual encouragement.

Ask wise saints for counsel. We all naturally run to people just like us for advice. It’s foolish. There is a wealth of wisdom in the generations of our church, so tap into it.

Foster intergenerational relationships for your children. Here’s some ideas.

Prioritize children and teen ministries. We have a lot of wonderful workers in these ministries. The staff is there because they want to invest in kids. Take advantage. As well, your commitment increases the health of that ministry. So, you aren’t just investing in your child but also in other families by helping that ministry remain strong.

Take your children to events rich in intergenerational contact. When we play kickball at the picnic, for example, we aren’t just playing a game. We are creating a great context for kids to mix in a unique way with our adults. That is so valuable. If your kids struggle to interact with adults, they shut down, or they get annoyed that you make them do it, that’s not good.

I’m thankful that I have always felt very comfortable relating to older people. I think it’s because I spent a lot of time with them as a kid (not just my grandparents). It has reaped tremendous benefits in my life. Do that for your kids. Christianity is a community religion. Ministry is relational. Building those skills sets your kids up for a lifetime of mutual care.

Involve them in ministry. Don’t leave your kids at home to play video games when you come to a workday or to prep for an event. Bring them along. They’ll rub shoulders with people, and they will build a healthy expectation for what it means to participate in the church. That’s so valuable.

Conclusion

The discipleship task is urgent. Don’t be content with where you are at. Find a mentor and welcome being pushed. Take advantage of the wealth of maturity around you. As well, there is so much ministry you can do among the people who regularly walk through our doors. And there is so much more that can be done as we multiply ministers. The harvest is plentiful. God can use us to raise up a generation that far surpasses us. Will you embrace the task? Will you catch the vision? Just imagine what God will do as all of us get on board.