Introduction

Many of you know that my grandmother passed away last week. As a result, I’ve reflected quite a bit on her life and my grandfather’s life. I loved my grandparents, and my times with them are some of my sweetest memories of my childhood.

As a pastor, I’ve been especially interested to discern why I loved visiting my grandparents so much, and why they were so impactful. My grandmother in particular didn’t have a dynamic, big personality. She didn’t wrestle with us, play on the floor, or give lots of winsome counsel. So, how was she impactful despite not doing those things?

The simple answer is that she loved us dearly, and she expressed that love through her words, her joy over us, and her undivided attention to us.

She’s not alone. The love of mothers and grandmothers have profoundly impacted many of us. They may not have an impressive career, broad influence outside the home, or other credentials that impress the world, but their passionate love made all the difference for you. It speaks to the fact that there are few more foundational forces for preserving and changing society than a mother’s love.

This morning, I’d like to consider a text which mentions this love, and I’d like to use it to challenge mothers, grandmothers, and all of us (no one’s getting off the hook) about how we can become more impactful servants of Christ who make a difference for God’s glory (read 1 Thess 2:1–8).

You probably noticed that Paul is reviewing his testimony and conduct at Thessalonica. It’s possible that he is answering critics who charged him with false motives, but Paul had a great relationship to the Thessalonians, so it is more likely that he is simply using his testimony as an example of a true minister’s heart. In the process he offers a great challenge for church members as we seek to “Love One Another,” for mothers and grandmothers, and for anyone striving to make a spiritual impact. First, vv. 3–4 use Paul’s testimony to challenge us that spiritual impact demands that I primarily…

I.  Pursue God’s glory (vv. 3–4).

I also want to pursue the good of the person I am serving. I love this child or this brother in Christ, and I want the absolute best for him or her. But I must always remember that our best interests always intersect with and end in the glory of God because God is always my greatest good. I am never loving someone well by pursuing a path other than absolute faith in and submission to the Savior. Rather, the best way a mother, grandmother, or disciple maker can love someone else is always to lead them to Christ.

But my biggest conflict is not usually between love for God and love for others; the biggest conflict is between my love for God and my love for self. As vv. 3–4 say, my actions are polluted with “error,” “impurity,” “deceit,” and the desire to please people. All of which are rooted in a desire to serve self.

When Paul mentions these false motives, he is almost assuredly thinking of the itinerant philosophers of the ancient Greek world. They traveled from town to town giving philosophical speeches, and they wooed the crowds with their fancy, sophisticated words. It was more about entertainment than truth, and it was more about money than education.

You can imagine how someone who is trying to put on a money-making show would resort to the sins mentioned in vv. 3–4. If the goal is to make a buck, you don’t have to be careful with the truth or speak edifying words, just those that “please men,” attract a crowd, and get them to open their wallets.

Pastors, churches, and even apostles like Paul face the same temptation. We all want to be liked, and we all want to be successful. No one wants an empty building, and no one wants to lose opportunities for influence. We are all tempted at times to go light on the truth, to ignore sin that needs to be confronted, or to flatter. Sometimes that temptation is very strong.

This is even true of moms. Parents love their children, and they desperately want a close relationship to them. Sometimes it is tempting to prioritize feeling loved by your children over honoring the Lord. As a result, mothers compromise their convictions and don’t say the things that need to be said. They call it love, but it’s really selfishness.

We must understand that the only way you can make a true spiritual impact of eternal significance whether it’s with your children, an evangelistic contact, a disciple, or anyone else, is to follow Paul’s example in v. 4 and “speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.”

My first concern must not be to keep people happy, gain their respect, feel loved, or appear successful; instead, just seek to please God from the heart. Be faithful to his Word, drive everyone to the gospel, be clear about sin and righteousness, be compelling and compassionate.

Hopefully, your ministry makes a massive impact and people love you as a result. But if God is pleased, you can trust the Lord with the rest.

And again, you can rest assured that no matter the response, you have loved well because our best good always intersects with and ends in the glory of God because God is always my greatest good.

So, mom’s walk with God every day, live for his glory, and be transformed by his glory. Then pour your heart and soul into raising your children to have the same passion. God will see even if no one else seems to care, and God will be pleased.

Let’s all do the same in every other context. True spiritual impact always begins with a zeal to please God and with the certainty that the knowledge of God is the greatest gift we can give. If we get this right, God will take care of the rest. Second, Paul uses his testimony to challenge us in vv. 5–8 that spiritual impact also demands that you…

II.  Pursue your brother’s good (vv. 5–8).

Like vv. 3–4, vv. 5–8 also begin with a series of negatives directed at the greedy philosophers. First, Paul did not use “flattering speech.” I heard preacher say this week that gossip is saying behind someone’s back what you would never say to their face, but flattery is saying to their face what you would never say behind their back.

It’s always nauseating to hear flattery, but it’s also tempting to use it. We want people to like us, and we often think that flattery will manipulate people up to giving us the things we want. But flattery never breeds spiritual impact because it’s manipulative. True love tells the truth.

Next, Paul adds that greed and human glory did not drive his ministry. Sadly, we could tell lots of stories about how greed and glory stripped pastors and churches of spiritual power. We know they are bad, yet greed and glory drive us far too often.

Resist them because greed and glory always dull spiritual impact. Parent for the good of your children not to build an image. And don’t minister to add feathers to your cap but because you love God and love people.

Finally, Paul says he did not “assert his authority” even though he had every right to do so. The Greek phrase is almost identical to our idiom, “throw your weight around.”

Have you ever been around someone who always reminds you that he is the boss, how smart he is, or how beautiful she is in order to bully you and others? It’s a terrible way to lead, and if someone is always pulling these cards, they probably aren’t making much of an impact.

Yes, parents must pull the boss card more often, but consistent discipline and demands for obedience will take you a lot further than constantly saying, “I’m the parent.” Being a strong leader is always more effective than reminding people you are the leader.

So, Paul’s ministry was not characterized by selfishness and manipulation. Instead, vv. 7–8 describe 3 positive characteristics of Paul’s ministry that are vital to any genuine spiritual impact. The first is…

Gentleness (v. 7a): I should mention that some translations replace gentle with infant based on a textual variant. The variant almost certainly arose because the two Greek terms are spelled similarly. Fortunately, neither option dramatically changes the meaning of the verse.

Again, vv. 5–6 mention the fact that the itinerant philosophers never came into town for the simple, sincere purpose of serving the people; rather, they always had complex, polluted motives. If v. 7 uses infants in place of gentle, the idea would be that Paul came with simple and sincere desires because an infant is not capable of complex, ulterior passions.

There’s no hidden agenda with our newborn son. His desires are simple. Similarly, a faithful minister also has a simple purpose. His passion is to honor the Lord by pointing people to the wonderful hope of the gospel.

However, I believe that the NASB gets it right by using the word gentle based on the textual evidence and how well it fits the context. Remember that v. 6 says that Paul did not throw his weight around as an apostle. He didn’t minister with a sense of entitlement, and he didn’t bully people into paying him generously, heaping praise on him, or bending to his every wish.

As well, Paul didn’t bully people into godliness. He was bold with the truth. He always said what needed to be said, and he held up the gospel as the one and only true way of salvation. Paul was not gentle in the sense of being soft or unclear with urgent matters because to do so would be misleading about the truth and the urgency of the truth.

Paul was always bold, but he was also more concerned about heart change than about external conformity. You don’t produce heart change by bullying and emotional manipulation. Rather, you speak the truth directly and compassionately, and then you must leave room for the Holy Spirit to work.

That’s not always easy to do. Do parents ever push their children too hard about getting saved and embracing certain convictions? Of course, they do. Pastors also bully people into certain beliefs and practices while bypassing the heart.

But true spiritual impact demands a balance of boldness and gentleness. And achieving this balance demands thoughtfulness and purpose. What battles must I fight today, and what battles can wait for another day? And when I must fight, how do I best address the heart?

Generally, we get to the heart the quickest when our ministry is bathed in prayer, and we’ve first examined our own hearts. From there, use the Bible as much as possible because our goal is never to win a convert to me; our goal is faith in and true submission to God’s Word. Another practical help for getting to the heart is to ask questions rather than making accusations. Accusations make us defensive, but questions push us to examine our hearts.

That’s how Paul ministered. He was a man of gentle strength (i.e., meekness). He was bold and strong, but he also trusted God’s Word and the Holy Spirit to do what he never could. As a result, he gave off an aroma of gentleness that endeared him to the Thessalonians but also opened the door to incredible spiritual impact. Oh, that we would have that same presence. A 2^nd characteristic of Paul’s ministry was…

Compassion (v. 7b): This statement drew me to this passage for Mother’s Day. We can all understand this picture, and I’ve been able to watch Heidi embody it this week with our newborn son. It’s a precious image.

It’s rooted in the fact that infants are small and fragile. We’ve heard it many times when our children were infants, “He’s so little.” And infants can’t do anything for themselves. They can’t even get a burp out on their own. Therefore, caring for a newborn is a 24-hour/day job, it’s exhausting, and sometimes it’s disgusting and frustrating.

Yet God has wired mothers to tenderly care for their infant children. They love them, feed them, clean them, and protect them. Yes, it’s not always a fairy tale of happiness and sunshine, but because they love their children they continue to tenderly care.

Of course, that tender, persevering care continues well past infancy. In fact, my grandmother demonstrated this gentle care to me throughout my childhood, and she showed the same care to my kids at 96 years of age this past Christmas.

And as simple as it may be, it is profoundly impactful. I see it all the time in our house. When the kids are upset or hurt, no matter how hard I may try to show compassion, they still cry for mom. There is something about a mother’s care that most men don’t have. Our Lord has uniquely equipped mothers with a force for influence in their children that plays a vital, powerful role in their development.

Now, as always, we must be careful not to press the illustration too far. We shouldn’t think of Paul literally caring for a grown man the same way a mother cares for an infant. I’m sure that you don’t want that out of me or anyone else. That would be a little weird.

But Paul says that in a sense spiritual impact demands this sort of tender care. This is because discipleship is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s more about perseverance than crisis. It involves great highs and deep lows. There are times when disciple makers must be forceful and direct, but there are other times we must be like a nursing mother tenderly caring for a fragile disciple.

We must “encourage the fainthearted” and “help the weak” (1 Thess 5:14). We must be prepared to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and (at other times to) weep with those who weep” (Rom 12:15).

It may sound simple, but sometimes it’s a struggle. Parents and disciple makers are often tempted to get impatient with people’s failures or their constant neediness. Some people are overwhelmed by the smallest things, and it’s a struggle not to dismiss their anxiety. Then other people are enduring real pain and sorrow. Ministering to them can be intimidating because you don’t want to say the wrong thing, and you want to say the perfect thing to fix it. It’s simpler to avoid the situation entirely.

You might say, “I’m just not wired for gentle care.” I’m certainly not. But do you really think that Paul was? I don’t imagine Paul as being an effeminate Mother Hubbard. He was tough and gruff.

But Paul also understood that discipleship requires doing more methods than just barking like a football coach. People need tender care, and this is especially so if you are going to maintain long-term impact.

So, don’t discount the significance of motherly love. Moms and grandmothers, your gentle compassion is making a difference, and that difference extends to the children of our church. Keep loving, and don’t ever get so busy that you lose that power.

And men, if a guy like Paul could tenderly care for the church, you can show tender care also. First and foremost, give that love to your wife and your children. Then learn to show compassion to the people around you in this church because compassion is vital to spiritual impact and to us truly loving one another. A 3^rd characteristic of Paul’s ministry was…

Sacrificial Generosity (v. 8): Notice that v. 8 does not abandon the theme of compassion from v. 7. Instead, motherly love inspired Paul’s sacrificial generosity. He mentions his “fond affection” for the Thessalonians and the fact that they “had become very dear to us.” Notice how he expresses this love in vv. 19–20. Paul loved this church.

And this love inspired Paul to give generously. First, he says in v. 8 that he was eager to “impart…the gospel of God.” Don’t ever forget that there is no greater gift we can give than the gospel.

There are many things that parents want to give their children, and there are many practical ways that we can serve people through the church. But the gospel is on a level all its own. It’s so important that we don’t just say that the gospel priority number one, but that it shows in the actual priorities and passions of our lives.

Paul was so committed to sharing the gospel that v. 8 says he was also willing to give his “own life” to the Thessalonians to bring the gospel to them. This statement testifies both to Paul’s love for the gospel and for the Thessalonians. Both were worth dying for.

That’s not just talk. Acts 17 says that the Thessalonian church was born in the midst of tremendous hostility. The Jews stirred up a violent mob who kidnapped Jason and several other believers. They probably would have hurt or even killed them if not for the city officials. Had they been able to find Paul, it probably would have been worse.

That sort of violence will get your attention, but it didn’t dissuade Paul. The gospel and the Thessalonian church were worth more than his own life, and he was ready to make any sacrifice to bring the gospel to them.

It’s a reminder to us that true spiritual impact rarely fits perfectly into a neat, tidy slice of your planner that costs you very little. Parents know this. You can’t schedule when your kids are going to get sick, or when they will suddenly want to talk about significant spiritual issues. They don’t wait until the big project at work is finished or for you to get a good night’s rest.

The same goes for all discipleship. It’s generally dirty, exhausting, sometimes inconvenient. But we get up early, and go to bed late. We bear heavy burdens, and we make hard sacrifices because the gospel matters, and people matter as well.

Certainly, we need to build wise protections around our time and our family. A burned-out minister is no good to anyone. But laziness and selfishness are a bigger threat to most of us than loving too much. If you want to make a spiritual impact, joyfully embrace the opportunity to pour yourself out because you love the gospel and you love people.

Conclusion

 In conclusion, we should all give thanks for loving mothers who love deeply and give sacrificially. They make a profound difference. Moms and grandmothers, keep going because you are making an impact even if it’s not always readily apparent.

And then let’s all exude that same kind of love to those around us. Care about people, listen patiently to them, rejoice in their blessings, and weep over their sorrows. Above all else, point them to Christ and the hope of the gospel. All of us can make a spiritual impact by simply loving like Christ and upholding the gospel of Christ.