Women Worthy of Honor

Introduction

(Read 1 Timothy 5:3–16) This passage, at least the parts about femininity, sound embarrassing in a world where feminism is orthodoxy. Just listen to how people mock the idea of a so-called “trad wife.” The world, even many Christians, would respond to this text by saying, “Why all the talk about marriage, the home, and raising kids? Haven’t we moved past that nonsense?”
But Paul believed the Bible, that God made men and women different, with distinct but complementary strengths, weaknesses, and responsibilities. He believed we thrive best when we embrace God’s design, not when we resist it or supposedly advance beyond it.
The feminist doesn’t want you to know this, but there’s plenty of evidence that God and Paul were right. Last year, I read a fascinating book called Get Married by Brad Wilcox. He is a Catholic sociology professor at the UVA. The book is one study after another destroying secular assertions that God’s design for marriage and family will make you poor, miserable, and unfulfilled. For example, consider this chart. 75% of women who are married with kids are very happy or pretty happy with their lives. But only 57% of women who are unmarried without kids feel the same way. That’s a massive difference. And it reflects the reality and goodness of God’s design.
I know a chart like that and Mother’s Day itself is painful for many of you. God has not given you the spouse or children you’d love have. I understand. Mother’s Day was miserable for Heidi and me when we wondered if we would ever have children. So, I don’t enjoy picking a sore wound. I’m praying that God fulfills every good desire and gives grace for every unfulfilled desire. As well, the Bible teaches that God doesn’t call everyone to marriage and family. Maybe God has given you unique gifts and a unique calling. So biblical femininity will not look exactly the same for everyone.
But considering the world’s overwhelming hostility to God’s design, I must highlight a chart like this, and I especially must highlight our text. Don’t buy the world’s lies. Listen to the Lord. He knows better than you what is good for you and what honors him. In this passage, he gives two vital challenges to Christian women which have plenty of carryover to us all. First…

I.  Use your youth to serve others (vv. 9–10).

These verses appear in a unique context. Specifically, the early church was very active in widow caring because many didn’t have anywhere else to turn. There was no SS or Medicare, and women didn’t have many rights.  Therefore, the church believed it had a gospel duty to provide for its widows, and they worked hard to do so.
But the Ephesian church was facing some challenges. First, some families were trying to push this responsibility onto the church even though they could care for mom themselves. It was straining the church’s resources.
So, the church was struggling to know who to support and who not to support. Therefore, Paul gives three criteria that a woman must meet before the church commits to long-term aid. She must be elderly, she must have no other means of support, and she must have a godly testimony.
Paul describes her godly testimony vv. 5–6 and vv. 9–10. In the process, he paints a beautiful picture of a godly woman. I want to start in vv. 9–10 where Paul challenge you to use your youth to serve others. He does so with several examples of godly, feminine patterns. These examples fall into two broad categories—good works in your home and good works outside your home. Let’s start with his instructions for inside the home.
Be loyal to your husband. Verse 9 says a widow worthy of honor must have been “the wife of one man.” Paul used the masculine form of this phrase in chapter 3 as a qualification for pastors and deacons. The literal idea is “a one-man woman.”
He is not saying every woman must get married, because 1 Corinthians 7 says that celibacy can be a good thing. Paul is also not saying she can literally only marry one time, because v. 14 exhorts younger widows to remarry. Rather the point is that she is known for her loyalty. She loves her husband and him alone, she invests in him, and her commitment is obvious to all.
Ladies, the world tells you that marital loyalty is old-fashioned and boring. It tells you the strong and fulfilled women is the one who doesn’t tie herself down with marital fidelity. She chases her dreams, and she doesn’t let marriage get in the way.
But God honors the woman who is devoted to her husband. Don’t resist your calling to be his helper; embrace it. Love him, respect him, follow him, and invest your heart and soul in a vibrant marriage. If you are married, next to your walk with God, no relationship is more important than the one with your spouse. It is even more important biblically than your relationship with your children.
And no other relationship has more rewarding potential. I’m sorry but chasing success, running to parties, or chasing the attention of many men will never bring you the joy of a healthy, secure, happy marriage. God knows what is good. Invest in your marriage. Paul’s 2nd instruction for inside the home is…
Invest in your children. Verse 10 says a woman worthy of honor is one who has “brought up children.” Once again, we must understand this phrase considering the parallel requirements for pastors and deacons in chapter 3. A pastor or deacon must be a good manager of his children. He must have them “under control with all dignity.”
So, v. 10 is not saying it’s enough to bring them up in the sense that you simply have children, keep them alive, and keep them fed and clothed. No, the church must honor women who manage and discipline their children well. And if a woman neglects her children, no matter what other successes or abilities she may have, she is not worthy of honor. Parenting matters to God for both fathers and mothers.
Parents, your first ministry is to each other. But your second ministry will always be to your children, and especially their souls. Their hearts are a precious stewardship.
This is especially so for mothers. God has called men to have a strong work ambition outside the home. But a wife and mother’s ambition is primarily in the home. The world hates that idea. But it’s how God made us. The evidence is overwhelming that women have more joy when they embrace it. And your children will be especially grateful. God’s will is good.
Mothers, do not neglect this most important stewardship to chase other ambitions that will look so small someday. Stay focused on your most important ambition, the souls of your children.
You are not sovereign. You can’t force them be born again or to love Jesus. They need grace. But don’t parent with regrets. Make it your aim that someday they will stand over your casket and say, “Mom and Dad weren’t perfect, and they never pretended to be. But they loved Christ, and they loved me. And they showed that love by doing everything they could to lead me to their Savior.”
So, the church should honor women who prioritize their family. But that’s not your only stewardship. God honors the woman who also is committed to good works outside the home.
Good Works: Grammatically, the central characteristic in vv. 9–10 is the first one in v. 10. The honorable widow is “well reported for good works.” Then Paul drives it home at the end of v. 10, “She has devoted herself to every good work.”
We generally think if good works as religious deeds, but good works in the NT typically describe acts of service that stem from genuine love. So, God is clear. The church should honor women who devote themselves to serving other people, especially in the church.
And v. 10 gives several examples of this loving service. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it paints a beautiful picture of the woman who deserves praise. 1st…
“She has shown hospitality strangers.” In the first century world, Paul’s primary concern was providing housing for traveling Christians and especially teachers. That’s because hotels were sparse, dirty, and littered with vice. Therefore, hospital to strangers was a huge ministry. So, Paul told the church to identify honorable women by looking for those with a compassionate heart that want to use their homes to serve others.
Of course, providing lodging isn’t as pressing today, but your home still has incredible ministry potential. When you invite someone into your home, you are communicating openness and love, and you open great doors for ministry. There’s no better place to build friendship or  make a disciple than at your dinner table. You know that because your mother or grandmother or someone else loved you well at their table. You can do the same.
Are you taking advantage? Would the way you use your home put you on Paul’s list, or would it disqualify you? I know you are busy. Maybe your home is modest, and you don’t love entertaining. You don’t have to entertain; you only have to love. And you can learn how to love well.
Don’t follow the world’s trends toward isolation. Don’t look at your home as a fortress built to keep everyone out and to indulge yourself. View it as a hospital, as a place to care for those in need.
Next, Paul says, “she has washed the saints’ feet.” We have a lot of work to do here because none of you have ever offered to wash my feet. I’m appalled!
Actually, I’m quite thankful because if you offered, I would decline. But in the ancient world people normally wore sandals, and they walked on dirty roads commonly alongside sewage ditches. Therefore, people appreciated having their feet washed when they entered a home.
But washing feet is no fun; in fact, it is rather humiliating. That’s why the disciples were appalled when Jesus washed their feet at the Last Supper. But Jesus set an example of how Christians must humbly serve each other.
And that’s the point in our text. Paul is saying the church should value people who reflect this kind of humility and kindness.
Ladies, God is not requiring you to literally wash feet, but he is calling you to cultivate a heart that would be willing and to perform similar acts of service. Do you love the people of this church enough that you enjoy cooking meals or watching children? Have you cultivated a humble heart that is happy to clean a toilet if it means you can bless a brother or sister?
You know how precious that ministry is because someone has done it for you. You can show Jesus to someone by washing their feet. Pick up his towel. Embrace the opportunity. You will honor the Lord, you will bless others, and God will change your heart. I promise you will find far more joy being this kind of servant than in living for yourself. Selfish people are always cranky people because they are never satisfied. But there is joy in serving others.
The next practical example Paul gives is “she has assisted those in distress.” This would be anyone facing a significant need, especially those in poverty. The Bible consistently uses serving the poor as a litmus test of genuine love. Widows, orphans, and others who are down and out will never be able to repay you. So, serving them is a matter of pure kindness. You do it, simply because you have a heart of love and compassion.
So, consider the last 6 months of your life. If Life Point were considering putting you on a widow’s list, and we asked how have you “assisted those in distress,” what would you say?
Don’t let yourself get so busy that you lose the Savior’s heart. Love people like Jesus. I know it’s not glamorous. Hollywood doesn’t make many movies about women who care for the weak. But it is beautiful to the Lord, and it pleases him immensely.
So, vv. 9–10 teach that the church should honor women who use their youth to serve others inside and outside their home. Younger ladies, you only have limited time. Your strength and energy will not last forever. The world tells you to use your youth to chase excitement and pleasure, but God says it is a waste. Don’t waste your youth chasing things of no lasting value. No, invest your strength and energy in your family and the other people around you.
Teenage girls, don’t dream of winning beauty pageants, conquering Wall Street, or living a life of luxury. Strive to be the young woman God honors. God will honor you and so will his people.
Finally, today is a great day to honor women who exemplify vv. 9–10. You know someone who models this passage. Tell them, give them rightful glory, and thank them for their impact. It means everything. So, use your youth to serve others. Now let’s jump up to vv. 5–6 which challenge you…

II.  Use your retirement to seek God (vv. 5–6).

These verses contrast two very different ladies. Verse 5 describes a poor widow who is godly and useful, and v. 6 describes a wealthy widow who is selfish and worthless. They represent two very different visions of how to use the last years of one’s life. I’d like to give two challenges about retirement that also are significant for every stage of life. First…
Be a prayer warrior (v. 5). Verse 5 is Paul’s central description of the widow the church should prioritize. She “has been left alone.” In other words, she has no financial support. She is poor.
But she is not bitter or cranky; rather, she continues with the godly habits of her youth. She can’t trust her bank account, but she trusts in God, and she cries out to him in prayer. And she doesn’t just give a couple of minutes here and there to prayer; prayer dominates her day and her night.
Now, it’s true that her desperate plight motivates her to pray, but it goes deeper than that. This woman lives in a prayer because she has walked with God for years.
She has now reached a stage of life where she can’t serve like she once did. Her husband is dead, and her children are adults. She’s not physically capable anymore of washing feet, and she has no money to provide hospitality or to help the needy.
But she has always been a godly servant; therefore, she isn’t content to put her feet up and do nothing while the church provides for her. So, she embraces the ministry she can do. She becomes a prayer warrior.
Every Sunday, she is asking questions and identifying needs. She scribbles requests in notebook. Then she goes home and prays about them all week. She prays by name for all the kids in the church that they would get saved and live for Christ. She prays for the single mom who always looks exhausted, and she prays constantly for the rough looking new believer who has so much baggage to overcome.
This old lady isn’t the face of the church. She isn’t giving large donations or managing major ministries. But she prays down the grace of God, and she is essential to the church’s success.  
Maybe you are growing older folks, your strength is fading, and you feel useless. You are sitting around waiting for God to take you. But God has you here for a reason. God has something for you to do. Specifically, you can have a profound ministry to this church if you will simply be this kind of prayer warrior who keeps our needs always before the throne of grace. Don’t complain about where God has you. Don’t waste your days staring at the TV. Build a prayer list, and devote your days to prayer. We desperately need that. My second challenge about retirement is…
Live for eternity (v. 6). This verse describes a foil, or a negative contrast to the honorable widow of v. 5. She’s not poor; she is rich, and she lives a life of luxury. She doesn’t spend her days in prayer; she spends her days at the spa. She doesn’t enjoy a vibrant walk with God; she is spiritually “dead even while she lives.”
There may be no other verse in all of Scripture that is more anti-American consumerism than that. Millions of working people can’t wait to live like this woman. They are saving every penny, and they are counting the days until they can waste their lives sitting on sandy beaches, collecting seashells, travelling the world, and lounging on their boat.
Of course, saving for retirement is a very good thing. The Bible commands us to prepare for the future. And 1 Timothy 4:1–5 tell you to the fruits of your hard work and the blessings of God’s creation. Just be sure to do so with gratitude to God and for his glory.
But v. 6 is not describing God-centered pleasure; it is describing a selfish pursuit of temporal things that consumes any time for ministry. This person may enjoy some great times. She may really enojoy retirement.
But God says she is already dead because her life serves no significant purpose. They aren’t seeking God or serving people. They aren’t contributing to any sort of godly legacy. They’re dead; they’re worthless. Let that soak in. The American dream retirement is worthless to God.
If you are retired or nearing retirement, what will you do with the last years of your life? Will you waste them on yourself, or will you invest them for eternity? Will you love people and continue to pursue the Lord, or will you just take up space until God takes you home?
Many of you have sharp minds and able bodies. Will you use your health for yourself or for others? We have so many needs around here that you can fulfill. We need nursery workers and children’s workers. We need more cleaning staff. If you aren’t physically capable of doing those things, we always need disciple makers and encouragers. We especially need prayer warriors. Don’t waste your retirement on yourself; use it to serve.

Conclusion

Ladies, every day your flesh and this world bombard you with messaging to live for yourself and to rebel against crusty oppressive standards like our text. But it’s all lies. Nothing can replace the Lord’s smile on your life, nothing else will satisfy your soul like being who God made you to be. Live to be a woman worthy of honor in God’s sight.
Men, do the same. For us it looks a bit different, but be a man worthy of honor in God’s sight.
Let’s all give thanks for the many women in our church who exemplify this passage. You are a wonderful treasure. I hope you know that. Take time today to tell one of these ladies whether inside or outside our church. Let’s honor godly women who are godly women indeed.